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14
Feb
100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband
thammie128

Got this from Ptr. Bernard Marquez. Thought it would be nice to share this with all of you especially on this day of love and mush.  :)

100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way

Author Unknown

Your relationship can be
greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with
him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re
trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences
that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate
freely. (Dave Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh
together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him
time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun
instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the
negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often
sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make
the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the
negative if it’s necessary.)
17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your
evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one
to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your
husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work
on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a
marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other
times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your
pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that
love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when
necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the
family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific
reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording”
it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you
sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s
not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief
when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private
when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from
work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few
minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and
pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not,
it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a
movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just
like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best
comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t
crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he
needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between
you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to
men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to
do.
60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or
breakfast in bed, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at
home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he
wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to
him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do
better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures
instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in
public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t
interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a
husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that
the wife thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may
view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or
illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the
silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with
you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer
leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday
living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in
his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

—- There! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY everyone! :)

Category: marriage  Tags: , , , , ,  Leave a Comment
20
Jan
Marriage, Fatherhood, Manhood
thammie128

I’m re-posting Dennis’ latest post on his site. I am blessed to have a godly man in my life. :)

Lately God has been really revealing principles and concepts of marriage, fatherhood and manhood as I read the word. My Bible reading today is no exception. But before I continue let me just give you a brief background of why I am doing a series on this topic for the next few days.

Lately – I’ve been hearing a lot of sad stories of men leaving their family for another woman, or a dream/ambition. It is really pathetic and sad. I come face to face with men who looks cool and manly on the outside but are really weak and coward on the inside.

This week I was praying to God about the situation men just like me face. Though at first angry with all the things happening to my friends, church members and the world in general – it seems God is birthing a deep burden in my heart to really help men be men according to God’s design.

So the blog.

I was reading my Bible today and 2 verses strike me about how important the role we have as fathers.

First was Eli the prophet who discipled Samuel. Here was how the Bible described Eli’s sons.

1Sam. 2:12  ¶     Eli’s sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for the LORD.

1Sam. 2:22  ¶     Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting.
1Sam. 2:23 So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours.

But inspite of the warning, Eli did nothing. He just tried to talk to them. Daddy did not fulfill his job in raising godly kids. Eli was an absentee dad. Too busy ministering. No time for his sons. The result was horrendous

1Sam. 2:27  ¶     Now a man of God came to Eli and said to him, “This is what the LORD says: ‘Did I not clearly reveal myself to the family of your ancestor when they were in Egypt under Pharaoh?
1Sam. 2:28 I chose your ancestor out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to go up to my altar, to burn incense, and to wear an ephod in my presence. I also gave your ancestor’s family all the food offerings presented by the Israelites.
1Sam. 2:29 Why do youd scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?’
1Sam. 2:30  ¶     “Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I promised that the members of your family would minister before me forever.’ But now the LORD declares: ‘Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.
1Sam. 2:31 The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of the members of your family, so that no one in it will reach old age,
1Sam. 2:32 and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, no one in your family line will ever reach old age.
1Sam. 2:33 Every one of you that I do not cut off from serving at my altar I will spare only to destroy your sight and sap your strength, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life.
1Sam. 2:34  ¶     “‘And what happens to your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, will be a sign to you—they will both die on the same day.
1Sam. 2:35 I will raise up for myself a faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind. I will firmly establish his family line, and he will minister before my anointed one always.

It was a hard lesson. Eli learned the hard way. You wouldn’t think Samuel will fall into the same daddy mistake.

Look at this verse:

1Sam. 8:1 ¶     When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel’s leaders.b
1Sam. 8:2 The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba.
1Sam. 8:3 But his sons did not follow his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.
1Sam. 8:4  ¶     So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah.
1Sam. 8:5 They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to leadc us, such as all the other nations have.”
1Sam. 8:6  ¶     But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the LORD.

Samuel followed Eli’s footstep. He was busy ministering that he forgot to disciple his kids who grew up dishonest. Another revelation hit me. God blamed the dads – not the moms. Nowhere in this 2 accounts did God mention that mommy was the reason. Daddy takes the blame.

What a great responsibility God has given us as men and fathers. I prayed that before I ask God to increase my influence or broaden my reach – make me first the leader of my household.

Daddy never underestimate the gift of Fatherhood. History lies in our hands and it starts at home.

Category: parenting  Tags: , ,  One Comment
10
Nov
We’re Stuck.
thammie128

We were on our way to meet with a couple when we got a call from another newly-married couple who are good friends of ours. Dennis was already in the car when he got a call from the wife, crying and wanting to talk to me. I was still upstairs at that time, saying goodnight to the kids– so Dennis sent me a text message telling me to bring our other cellphone which allowed for unlimited calls. His exact message was “Bring [unlimited-call cellphone]. Emergency.”

Upon reading the message, several thoughts came rushing into my head. Dennis is not the type who easily panics. He also knows that I easily panic, so he is definitely not the type who would just text me the word emergency if there really was no real emergency. So I hurried downstairs and got into the car.

As soon as I got inside, I asked him what had happened. He told me that our friend called, crying about something, and that they got cut off before she could say why she was crying. I then got a message from her, asking me to call her as soon as I could. Dennis and I looked at each other with worry. We’ve never seen this friend cry before. We’ve always asked both her and her husband how their marriage was, and it has always been with a very confident “we’re doing great!” answer. Dennis and I agreed that if there really was something wrong, we would have to cut short our other meeting and go to their house (it was late into the evening already).

I dialed my friend’s number and waited for her to pick up the phone. When she finally did, I heard a sob before the word hello. I asked her what was wrong. “Bakit?”– was all I could say, in a soft, sympathetic voice. I heard another sob, followed by an attempt to clear her throat and her emotions so that I could understand her better.  Then she told me what was wrong.

“We’re Stuck.”

“What do you mean you’re stuck?”

She went on to explain that they had an argument and they both could not come to an understanding and clear resolve. They could not see eye to eye in this particular situation. They both felt that the other person simply didn’t get it. They were stuck.

She also explained that they both agreed that they were stuck and they needed an outsider’s perspective to somehow help them get unstuck. They both agreed to call us. She was to talk to me, and the husband was to talk to Dennis.

I processed her thoughts with her, while Dennis processed the husband’s argument with him. By the end of the night, they were back to discussing the matter by themselves, and came to an agreeable compromise. There was no need to go to their house after all. We got to relax and take our time with the other couple.

As it turned out, their issue was really not that serious, relative to what other people might consider serious. But we all know that in marriage, it is the small stuff that make a difference. If we can’t handle the small matters in a way that would show love and respect to both parties, we certainly wouldn’t be able to handle the big issues properly.

As Dennis and I were driving home, we were talking about how we knew this couple would have a great marriage. I’m guessing it took a lot of humility (especially on the husband’s part hehe) to both admit that they were stuck, to admit that they needed help, and to be willing to actually hear out another person’s perspective.

Humility in marriage would go a long way. We don’t need to wait for a pressing problem before we swallow our pride and ask for help. It is with the seemingly-trivial concerns that we get to practice this humility which doesn’t at all come naturally to most of us.

I am extremely grateful to have couples who take the time to mentor us even before we get to that point of being stuck. :)

vcoachengage

Category: marriage  Tags: , , , , , ,  9 Comments
19
Jun
H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S
thammie128

We just came home from our good friends’ bridal shower and stag party (same house, different rooms for the men and women). I have to hand it to Steph’s (the soon-to-be bride) siblings…you all did a great job organizing it! :) The theme was anything kitchen, which I loved since all the prizes were useful. Had I known, I would have participated more than I have instead of just eating during the first few games! :)

** fast forward**

The last activity was for the married couples to give tips on “How to have a happy marriage”. This is what I came up with in the few minutes given to us:

H- Have a clear vision for your marriage

A- Appreciate more than criticize

P- Pray together

P- Pay attention to each other’s needs and desires

I- Inspire your partner to dream big

N- Never stop trying out new things

E- Enjoy sex  (this one, ONLY when you’re ALREADY married!)

S- Serve each other

S- Savor every moment, even those that seem insignificant

If any of you have other tips, feel free to write them! :)   I love learning from all of you! :)

PS: Mika’s on her way to recovery. She’s starting to eat again! yipee! :)

Category: marriage  Tags: , , , ,  One Comment