Tag-Archive for » fatherhood «

I’m re-posting Dennis’ latest post on his site. I am blessed to have a godly man in my life. :)

Lately God has been really revealing principles and concepts of marriage, fatherhood and manhood as I read the word. My Bible reading today is no exception. But before I continue let me just give you a brief background of why I am doing a series on this topic for the next few days.

Lately – I’ve been hearing a lot of sad stories of men leaving their family for another woman, or a dream/ambition. It is really pathetic and sad. I come face to face with men who looks cool and manly on the outside but are really weak and coward on the inside.

This week I was praying to God about the situation men just like me face. Though at first angry with all the things happening to my friends, church members and the world in general – it seems God is birthing a deep burden in my heart to really help men be men according to God’s design.

So the blog.

I was reading my Bible today and 2 verses strike me about how important the role we have as fathers.

First was Eli the prophet who discipled Samuel. Here was how the Bible described Eli’s sons.

1Sam. 2:12  ¶     Eli’s sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for the LORD.

1Sam. 2:22  ¶     Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting.
1Sam. 2:23 So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours.

But inspite of the warning, Eli did nothing. He just tried to talk to them. Daddy did not fulfill his job in raising godly kids. Eli was an absentee dad. Too busy ministering. No time for his sons. The result was horrendous

1Sam. 2:27  ¶     Now a man of God came to Eli and said to him, “This is what the LORD says: ‘Did I not clearly reveal myself to the family of your ancestor when they were in Egypt under Pharaoh?
1Sam. 2:28 I chose your ancestor out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to go up to my altar, to burn incense, and to wear an ephod in my presence. I also gave your ancestor’s family all the food offerings presented by the Israelites.
1Sam. 2:29 Why do youd scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?’
1Sam. 2:30  ¶     “Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I promised that the members of your family would minister before me forever.’ But now the LORD declares: ‘Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.
1Sam. 2:31 The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of the members of your family, so that no one in it will reach old age,
1Sam. 2:32 and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, no one in your family line will ever reach old age.
1Sam. 2:33 Every one of you that I do not cut off from serving at my altar I will spare only to destroy your sight and sap your strength, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life.
1Sam. 2:34  ¶     “‘And what happens to your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, will be a sign to you—they will both die on the same day.
1Sam. 2:35 I will raise up for myself a faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind. I will firmly establish his family line, and he will minister before my anointed one always.

It was a hard lesson. Eli learned the hard way. You wouldn’t think Samuel will fall into the same daddy mistake.

Look at this verse:

1Sam. 8:1 ¶     When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel’s leaders.b
1Sam. 8:2 The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba.
1Sam. 8:3 But his sons did not follow his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.
1Sam. 8:4  ¶     So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah.
1Sam. 8:5 They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to leadc us, such as all the other nations have.”
1Sam. 8:6  ¶     But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the LORD.

Samuel followed Eli’s footstep. He was busy ministering that he forgot to disciple his kids who grew up dishonest. Another revelation hit me. God blamed the dads – not the moms. Nowhere in this 2 accounts did God mention that mommy was the reason. Daddy takes the blame.

What a great responsibility God has given us as men and fathers. I prayed that before I ask God to increase my influence or broaden my reach – make me first the leader of my household.

Daddy never underestimate the gift of Fatherhood. History lies in our hands and it starts at home.

I had set a salon date with my sisters-in-law today. Dennis decided that he would drop me off at our meeting place, bring Alyanna to school, then have a date with Mika. Our day was all planned out. It was going to be a great day-off for Dennis, and semi-day off for me. :)

We were nearing the salon and I was getting ready to get off the car when I suddenly heard a thump and a screeching sound from the back. I thought it would be a short screech but it wasn’t. Well, it lasted for more than two seconds and if you own a car, you know that even one second is long enough to stir up some anxiety in you. I guess Dennis was thinking the same thing because when it kept going on he said “UY!” then blew the horn *BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!*  It was at that time I realized we had just met an accident.I was ready to be all panicky, but as I looked out the window, I saw a HUGE container truck right on the side where Mika was. We now drive a Toyota Vios, so you would understand my sentiments when I say that the first thing that came to my mind was “Whew! Thank you Lord for protecting us!” I didn’t even bother to look at the extent of the damage that accident left on our car. I was just relieved that it wasn’t big enough to warrant any medical attention for our precious girls. :)

Anyway, the point of my telling you this story is really this:

As soon as Dennis blew the horn, Alyanna insistingly told Dennis, “Daddy, please drive carefully okay??” Dennis, obviously preoccupied, ignored her comment and got off the car. Alyanna fell quiet for a moment (as if processing what just happened) and asked me, “Mom, why is daddy sad?” with a very sympathetic voice. I just invited her to pray with me. All the while, she kept silent, observing my reaction as well as Dennis’.

Dennis told me to go to the salon in a very commanding voice so without thinking, I obeyed. After a few minutes I realized I couldn’t be at peace leaving them so I excused myself so I could go get the two girls (there were with our helper). I had the feeling Alyanna would be watching Dennis from inside the car and I didn’t want to take any chances–not that I was expecting Dennis to get mad at the truck driver–he’s usually calm and composed even under pressure, but like I said, I didn’t want to take any chances. As I opened the door, the first thing Alyanna said to me was, “mom, I’m sad also…” I’m guessing she saw her daddy in a somewhat unhappy disposition (obviously).

I’m amazed at Alyanna. She is not the most affectionate person at times, but she is always very very keen on other people’s feelings. She is also very quick to see and copy our responses in every situation.

Today I was reminded of how our children are like sponges. We could lecture all we want about self-control, patience, and forgiveness–but if they see us acting otherwise, all those words would mean nothing to them. Perhaps at best, our lectures would just bring confusion.

I am so blessed to have a husband who can handle sudden unpleasant events very gracefully. I am glad that he practices what he preaches to our kids. I most probably would not have responded that way if it was just me in that car. Generally, I do not respond to the unexpected very well. Good thing I have a lifetime to learn from my best friend. :)