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12
Jun
Foolish Conversations
thammie128

After a month’s break, our small group finally got together again last night. There were a lot who were not able to make it, though— tsk. That virus going around! Nevertheless, we had a refreshing time with each other and have learned a lot. I guess I’m writing this for the sake of those who missed last night’s topic. It was on talk that hurts relationships…”foolish conversation”. Here are some of the main thoughts I got from the word…

  • Timing is everything. Well-meaning words can be considered foolish talk if they are said at the wrong time.

Proverbs 25:20 “Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.”

Proverbs 27:14 “A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!”

  • Watch out! It is easy for couples to fall into patterns of foolish conversation if we are not careful. Among the group, here are some of the common patterns:

-  sarcasm… especially when one has unresolved issues with the other person but can not properly let that person know

-  bad timing… maybe because of familiarity, we tend to say whatever, whenever

-  criticism… when you actually share almost everything with someone, it somehow becomes easier to see those trivial

“irritating” habits

- “unfiltered” talk…the inability to discern “good seed” from “bad seed”… our words are like seeds being planted in the hearts

and minds of those around us, which will eventually bear fruit. What kind of fruit should we expect to see based on the seeds

we are planting now?

-  contemptous speech…usually out of spite or frustration, with an attempt to embarrass or disgrace the other person

-  physically listening but not hearing what our partners are really saying

  • Count 1- 100…………Do it again……..Now, repeat.

Proverbs 29:11 “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”

- This does not mean hiding or repressing our true feelings. Rather, it is being able to process and edit, then edit again…until

we are able to communicate properly and deal with the issues at hand, without attack the character of our partners.

  • Remember, you’re on the same side. :)
  • Foolishness is the opposite of wisdom. While wisdom is behavior that builds our relationships, foolishness breaks it down.

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…”

Psalm 14:1 “..the fool says in his heart that there is no God…”

—–> Wisdom, therefore, begins with a strong relationship with God.

……….What about you? Are you connected to the source of wisdom?  What are some habits/patterns of conversation that you feel you need to work on? :)

Category: Uncategorized, blogging, dates, marriage, parenting, recipe  One Comment
31
May
Am I Still Fun To Be Around?
thammie128

Because of our trip to the province, it’s been almost three weeks since my last date with Dennis. I’m so happy that last night, though short and not really the date we planned for, we finally got to go on one again. :)

We planned to eat dinner and watch a movie and have coffee in Alabang since we had to bring my mom there for a wedding. Hmph..We were stuck in traffic for two hours, and then got lost after that. When we finally got to the mall, the last full show already started (LFS at 8:15?!?) so we ended up just having dinner. (By the way, I’m NOT complaining ha :) )

Dennis and I usually eat in the same places and order the same food to make sure we like what we would be spending our money on. But I’m proud to say that lately we’ve become more “adventurous” (which simply means more willing to take “risks” with our spending budget) and we’ve been trying new places and new dishes! Some have turned out to be blah and not so good, while some, we have decided to include in our list of “favorites”…Whichever the case may be, it’s still always a good thing to try something new with your spouse–be it as trivial as say, changing both of your hair colors– to new hobbies and activities. This is especially helpful once the babies come.

I remember my friend who told me about a time when her husband complained that she wasn’t “fun” to be around anymore. That conversation got me thinking, “Am I doing something deliberate when it comes to making sure that my husband and kids will always like to spend time and have fun with me? Or have I  become too stiff with all the responsibilities and roles that I feel I need to play?”

I hope that 50 years from now, I will still be looking forward to trying new things with Dennis…that he too, will still always look forward to being with me and  having fun together.

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