08
Feb
My Separation Anxiety
thammie128

Today was another day of success in the weaning arena. Mika asked for my milk upon waking up, cried a little then fell back asleep…woke up again and cried more…then asked for my milk again in the afternoon….then tried again before going to bed…and the whole time I stood my ground. No more. Tomorrow she’ll be turning two. Tomorrow I shall officially declare her fully weaned.

I have a confession, though. I thought I’d be elated to announce this “milestone”, but tonight I just feel really, really sad. I was casually telling Dennis how I will soon feel my supply dry up, how I feel it has started to diminish already…and then, there. I felt it— the realization that this is it. Starting tomorrow, no more Mika taking her time to nurse from me. No more asking milk from me. No more cries upon waking up. She’s officially no longer a baby. I seriously want to cry now.

Well, I am starting to cry now, actually.

I know… the thought has crossed my mind.

“Whoever said I needed to stop anyway??”

“I could always extend it just a little….”

“She’ll be this young only once. Go ahead Thammie, Take your time!”

Tempting. Tempting. But like my dad said, I seriously need to replenish my body if I plan to get pregnant again. I felt the two pregnancies and nursing seasons take a toll on my body so yes, i agree with my doctor daddy.

Say no to temptation, Thammie.

It has been two blissful years already, time to rest those glands!

Listen to your body, not your sentimental feelings.

What if I just get pregnant again??

NO!!!

I said say no to temptation! Rest those glands! Listen to your body! Nourish your body!

Lord, please help me get over this feeling. :)

Category: Feeding Times, parenting  Tags: , , , ,  Leave a Comment
07
Feb
Weaning Update
thammie128

Since the beginning of February, I’ve been literally counting the days before Mika turns two. That’s two days from now. *sigh* …I wrote in my previous blog how I planned to wean Mika, and I remember promising to give an update on how it turns out– whether or not I’ve had to resort to the last option. So here is my update:

So far so good. I haven’t found the need to do that thing that I dread. For the past few weeks (more significantly, last few days) I’ve been doing all the things I said I would, like not spend so much time in our favorite nursing spots, amuse Mika with other activities, give her other yummy (yet still healthy) options, and dropping certain feeding times. The last part is a little tricky though— I would drop a feeding at a certain time but would feed her the next day. Inconsistent is the word to describe my attempts in this respect. Truthfully speaking, I know that although Mika would cry and give me that “mommy-why-are-you-torturing-me” look most of the time, she would eventually stop and get the point. The problem is that I, the mommy, can’t resist and I so easily miss and long for our nursing moment.

I can imagine most of you are nodding your heads and can very well relate to that separation anxiety that I am telling you about. This makes it all the more difficult for us moms to overcome this feeling, knowing someone is there to empathize with us. BUT, to those who are seriously considering weaning their little cuties, I would say I have news for you: it is possible! It is possible to overcome our emotions after all! :)   I am proud to say that today, I was able to do it. Yes, the whole day Mika drank from the cup. Much of this I would attribute to my busy schedule today so I really had no time to feed her even if I wanted to. But tonight was the real test. Oh, how I wanted to say yes as she cried and take her into my arms and cuddle her and nurse her….but I was able to stop myself, tell her plainly “no more milk from mommy tonight Mika” and kiss her goodnight. Just like that. She said (in a sad but yielding tone), “no more milk? *pause* oh-tay…” Then off to bed she went. :)

Good girl Mika. Good job Mommy. (hehe!) :)

Category: Feeding Times  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
07
Feb
Five Years
thammie128

Dennis and I just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary the other day (February 5). I realized two things: For a couple of years now, we haven’t been giving each other “anniversary” gifts; and we always have to include eating at a buffet in our date or else it wouldn’t be complete. :) This time around, we went to Clark to celebrate our anniversary together with another couple-friend who also happen to have the same anniversary. We also brought the kids with us to celebrate Mika’s birthday. Of course, as one would think, this cannot be it. How could you possibly celebrate an anniversary with kids around??…and with no buffet?? ….well, we’re not done yet. We would be staying overnight somewhere, just the two of us, next week…and I shall eat all the salmon I want the next day. :D

I asked Dennis if he noticed the same thing, by the way….the no-anniversary gift part, and he said he did, too. As we talked about it, we both realized how content we are with just spending time with each other. Really. If he were to ask me what I wanted to receive for our anniversary, I would honestly just say…. “take me to a buffet.” And if I were to ask him what he wanted as a gift for our anniversary, he wouldn’t have anything in mind (except, of course, what all husbands have in mind—but that’s a given).

And so I conclude, I am actually giving Dennis a gift — a gift that perhaps most men would want from their wives…the gift of not having to worry about giving gifts, and the gift of not having to think about how much his wife will be spending. In short, peace of mind. :D   What a rare gift these days!

Seriously though, I am very, very grateful for the five wonderful years we’ve had together. I know I can say that I love Dennis more now than how I did five years ago, and with God’s grace, I know I would learn to love him more and more each day in the years to come. I know we have yet to learn many things. I am just glad that I need not be anxious about anything, knowing that for one, it is God who is the center of our marriage, and it is He who will direct our paths; And second, that I will be going through this life-long learning process with my husband. I am so blessed to have a husband who I can trust, whose wisdom is way beyond his experience, who loves God more than he loves me, who is committed to loving me and taking care of his family, whose hard work is  always fruitful, who balances me more than he knows.

In the five years we’ve had together, I think we’ve learned more than the typical five-year couple. For one, God uses other couples who have gone ahead of us to mentor us and teach us. This has spared us from a lot of unnecessary fights and arguments, and has given us a lot of great ideas on how we should treat each other. Also, we have counseled so many couples (SO.MANY. especially since we started the Greenhills church)— younger and older than us— that constantly remind us what to prioritize in our marriage, and of course what to avoid. We also come out of every counseling session thanking each other and thanking God for being in control of us and our union.

Again I say, I am very, very grateful for the five wonderful years we’ve had together, and I am really looking forward to the years ahead. Many told me before that I should have waited and not get married at such a young age, but honestly, I am glad I was given this privilege of starting such an amazing life with my husband early on….and so I also get the chance to build more great memories with my family. :)

Ga, thank you for kidnapping me and making me quit med school. Thank you for making me realize  dreams for my life that I didn’t know I had. More importantly, thank you for making those dreams a reality (well, some are still dreams, but we’ll get there ;) ). Thank you for being my best friend and life-long partner. I am excited to see what God has in store for us in the coming years! :) I love co-laboring with you in serving God and in raising our family. It is pure joy.  I love you! :)

PS: Life-long partner– I really like the sound of that. :)

Category: marriage  Tags: ,  Leave a Comment
03
Feb
For the Love of Books
thammie128

I love books. A book is actually one of the few things that I wouldn’t really mind spending for. As long as I have a good book with me, I become the most patient person in line or whenever I would have to wait for someone. As long as I get to read something worthwhile, I feel I am the most productive human being. :)

Books have played a big part in the history of mankind. Books have shaped people’s lives and have helped mold people’s characters since the beginning of time (well, since they came into existence in one form or another). Books have made it possible, and are continuing to do so, for one person to be able to speak into the lives of millions who may be continents away. Books have been and forever will be one of the most influential and powerful tools that have been made known to man. :)

To me, books = learning = value. ;)

I hope you get to read one today. :)

P.S: Check out this booklover’s treat

Category: random  Tags: , , , ,  One Comment
02
Feb
Commitment VS Covenant
thammie128

For the past couple of weeks, I have been bombarded with news about couples who are having trouble in their marriages. As I was praying for each of them this morning, two words came to mind: commitment and covenant. Then it hit me…

There are a lot of reasons why couples get into fights– finances, parenting styles, work and career concerns, intimacy issues….different things, at different levels. But a common denominator that we can note in all these issues is the lack of proper communication. And I say “proper” communication because it is so easy to assume that spouses communicate as long as they talk and seemingly listen; But it takes selflessness, humility, trust, and love for real communication to take place in a marriage. And of course, for all of this to happen, it takes a lot of time. Time, which can be equated with the word commitment.

I’ve noticed that a lot of times, husbands and wives find it difficult to set aside time for each other. When asked why, most say that though they do prioritize their spouses (so they say), it is just difficult for them because they have other commitments that they have to fulfill and be responsible for.

I agree– there are far too many things that we commit ourselves to, to the point that a lot of times these other commitments are placed at the same level as that of our marriages. We fail to remember that more than being a commitment, what sets our marriages apart from all the other commitments is that it is a covenant. A covenant is something that God takes much more seriously, as it involves not just both husband and wife, but God himself. When we fail to fulfill a certain “commitment”, there will be consequences, yes…but most of which affect us temporarily. When we fail to fulfill a covenant, on the other hand, the consequences have eternal and lasting repercussions.

God takes our marriage vows seriously. It is not just a contract we sign or a shallow promise we make. It is an invitation for God himself to bind two separates into one whole. That is why HE said “what God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:9).

God has purposed our marriages to be like that of His love relationship with us–unconditional and selfless, even to the point of death. He said that nothing in heaven or on earth can separate us from His love. He has made a covenant with us, and He has been taking it seriously since the beginning of time– and up until the end. I hope we all do the same. :)

Category: marriage  Tags: ,  9 Comments
02
Feb
Alyanna’s Fourth…
thammie128

To my dear, sweet Alyanna….

Everyday I see you bloom more and more  into the kind of person that God has planned for you to become. Everyday I am grateful for the wonderful blessing that you are to us. Everyday I am reminded of God’s faithfulness to me. Everyday I am growing as a person, and I have much to thank you for that. Everyday you show me how it is to love unconditionally. Everyday you teach me more things about myself, as I discover more things about you. Everyday I love you.

Lord, thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful daughter. I pray that you will teach me how I can best parent this precious child. I pray that you will help me and show me how you would want me to raise her. I pray that you empower me as I raise the next generation of leaders who will serve you and love you with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. Teach me to love her, the way you love us.

Happy fourth birthday, anak. :)

Category: random  Tags: ,  4 Comments
27
Jan
Aha! Caught you! :)
thammie128

This week I gave myself an assignment: to catch my children doing something right.

I’m not saying I do not praise them enough for tasks that they do well. In fact, I think most of us moms actually have that button that gets pressed every time we see our children accomplish something–be it a trivial task or a major milestone– there is that button that automatically shifts our vocal chords into high-pitched gear and turns our facial muscles into hyper-glee mode. I’m sure our kids often hear us say “HWWAAAWWW! (exaggerated version of wow!)”, “GOOD JOB!!”, or “I’M PROUD OF YOU!!”. I know I, for one, hear myself say those phrases a lot.

But this time I wished to take it further; I wanted to be more deliberate in praising them, and not have to wait for them to accomplish something before doing so. I wanted to take notice of the little things they did, not necessarily in reference to a certain task or milestone, but more of the little things that revealed their character. I wanted to catch them responding/talking properly and thank them for it; I wanted to catch them sharing their toys and appreciate their generosity; I wanted to catch them put in effort into something and tell them how proud I am of them for trying their best even before I got to see the actual results.

The week hasn’t ended yet, but already I feel good about my assignment. I have a feeling I’d be extending my deadline indefinitely…and that I’d be applying it not just with my kids, but with everyone else in this household. :) (everyone else in this world, for that matter) :)

Category: parenting  Tags: , ,  2 Comments
26
Jan
Get Me Pregnant?!?
thammie128

I was having lunch with my mommy friends a few days ago and found out something interesting…

Mommy A: “Mare, balak niyo na pala ni Dennis ma-pregnant late this year?” *all smiles, excited for us*

Innocent me: “Huh?? Sino nagsabi? Saan galing yan? Wala akong alam na ganong balak a….”

Mommy A: “Si Dennis! It’s in his blog…one of his faith goals for this year daw.”

Innocent me: “Nge! Really?!? sige check ko! Wala siyang kinekwentong ganon sa akin a! Ewan ko sa kanya, ako wala akong ganong faith goal this year pa.”

…Now lately, quite a number of people have been telling me it’s about time I get pregnant again…as they all love to put it, “o, pwedeng-pwede na magka-baby ulit!”

Aahhhh!!! Nagugulo utak ko!! :D   I have been gliding along just fine and then now this thought pops up. Can you imagine the mixed emotions I’m having??

…So there we were having a wonderful lunch and then…

Mommy B: “O, thams! I heard you plan on having your next baby na a. Sige sabay tayo!!! *excited*”

Surprised me: “Ha?? You also heard that?? How come hindi ko alam yan, pero lahat kayo alam??”

Mommy B: “It’s in Dennis’ blog!”

….ayayay! I must see this blog!!… I must!!

So here I am, checking his previous entries.. Let me share that particular post here:

There is something about the new year. It seems like people automatically resets their goals and starts at zero. No matter how much I fight the idea of new year, new start- you can’t. I think it is innate among us to restart and refocus. Here are my goals for 2010 and I promise to give my best shot to make it happen

1. Finish the Bible in 90 days. Will introduce the reading program this coming Jan 8 at our church.

2. Shoot for my weight goal of 160 by the end of the year. ( this might be the toughest goal)

3. Create more family memories.

4. Make my dating time with wife more creative.

5. Finish our 3 to 6 months emergency fund.

6. Vacation with wife only.

7. Practice extreme, sacrificial generosity.

8. Make fasting a lifestyle.

9. Get my wife pregnant late this year ( what a happy goal)

10. Coach at least 4 people this year.

There you go. Hope I fulfill them by the end of the year.

——End of blog ————-

….Did you read that first part? “and I promise to give my best shot to make it happen“– that makes me happy in reference to all the other goals, but attach it to goal number nine??? Scary. :)

….So I therefore conclude….I will pray about it. We’ll see what happens late this year… :)

PS: Alyanna, out of the blue, told me the other day: “Mom, I want you to have another baby na in your tummy, but it’s not us….I want to be outside your tummy, and Mika will also be outside your tummy and then you just buy another baby for your tummy.”

(I had to explain that we don’t just buy babies, and that babies are God’s gift to us)…so all the more she got excited “mom! I want you to ask God na to give us a baby gift in your tummy!”

….again, Anak, we shall see…. :)

Category: random  Tags: , ,  4 Comments
24
Jan
Desires VS Expectations
thammie128

Growing up, how did you imagine life to be?

How did you see yourself as a married woman? What kind of man did you dream of marrying? How did you envision the father of your children to be? What kind of life did you dream of living?

I’m sure all of us have answers to these questions. All of us grow up with a certain picture of how life would be for us. We all hope for a particular kind of life– either one just like what we grew up with, or one very much unlike it. Either way, we all desire something from life.

It’s no different when we talk about marriage. I do not know of a sensible person who starts a family without any goals and dreams. In fact, why get married if you don’t have any goals for your union, right? Let me use another word in reference to these goals and dreams– let’s name them “Desire”.

Desire is one thing that all of us have in common upon entering relationships. It is the one thing that keeps us excited and makes us look forward to the next day of being with that person we have fallen in love with. Desire is what makes us women especially look forward to that day when our man would ask us to marry them and we say yes. Desire is what makes men ignore their fears and decide to take on the challenge of being called a husband and soon, a father. Desire is a gift from God. Desire is a beautiful thing.

…BUT, we must be careful not to let these desires turn into something else. A lot of times, something magical happens when we get married; These desires take on a new name–”Expectation”. Unlike desire, expectation says “you have to do/give this or else…”. Expectation makes us lose that feeling of excitement and hope because now we wake up and everything is just an obligation that we have to fulfill. With expectation, wives tend to lose that sense of admiration and respect for their husbands because now he is just doing what he’s supposed to do as the man of the house. Expectation causes men to forget all about that unconditional love they promised to give their wives because now wives are just performing her duties. All of a sudden, all the joy, unity, intimacy, and beauty in a relationship fade because the desires have become something that God never intended.

God has loved us with an unconditional love– and He has commanded husband and wives to love the same way.

My prayer is that I will always remember to say thank you to my husband for EVERYthing he does for us–from getting me my favorite wheat pandesal, to trying his best to provide for us….and for our desires to remain as such, until the day they become reality for us. :)

Category: marriage  Tags: , ,  One Comment
20
Jan
Marriage, Fatherhood, Manhood
thammie128

I’m re-posting Dennis’ latest post on his site. I am blessed to have a godly man in my life. :)

Lately God has been really revealing principles and concepts of marriage, fatherhood and manhood as I read the word. My Bible reading today is no exception. But before I continue let me just give you a brief background of why I am doing a series on this topic for the next few days.

Lately – I’ve been hearing a lot of sad stories of men leaving their family for another woman, or a dream/ambition. It is really pathetic and sad. I come face to face with men who looks cool and manly on the outside but are really weak and coward on the inside.

This week I was praying to God about the situation men just like me face. Though at first angry with all the things happening to my friends, church members and the world in general – it seems God is birthing a deep burden in my heart to really help men be men according to God’s design.

So the blog.

I was reading my Bible today and 2 verses strike me about how important the role we have as fathers.

First was Eli the prophet who discipled Samuel. Here was how the Bible described Eli’s sons.

1Sam. 2:12  ¶     Eli’s sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for the LORD.

1Sam. 2:22  ¶     Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting.
1Sam. 2:23 So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours.

But inspite of the warning, Eli did nothing. He just tried to talk to them. Daddy did not fulfill his job in raising godly kids. Eli was an absentee dad. Too busy ministering. No time for his sons. The result was horrendous

1Sam. 2:27  ¶     Now a man of God came to Eli and said to him, “This is what the LORD says: ‘Did I not clearly reveal myself to the family of your ancestor when they were in Egypt under Pharaoh?
1Sam. 2:28 I chose your ancestor out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to go up to my altar, to burn incense, and to wear an ephod in my presence. I also gave your ancestor’s family all the food offerings presented by the Israelites.
1Sam. 2:29 Why do youd scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?’
1Sam. 2:30  ¶     “Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I promised that the members of your family would minister before me forever.’ But now the LORD declares: ‘Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.
1Sam. 2:31 The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of the members of your family, so that no one in it will reach old age,
1Sam. 2:32 and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, no one in your family line will ever reach old age.
1Sam. 2:33 Every one of you that I do not cut off from serving at my altar I will spare only to destroy your sight and sap your strength, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life.
1Sam. 2:34  ¶     “‘And what happens to your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, will be a sign to you—they will both die on the same day.
1Sam. 2:35 I will raise up for myself a faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind. I will firmly establish his family line, and he will minister before my anointed one always.

It was a hard lesson. Eli learned the hard way. You wouldn’t think Samuel will fall into the same daddy mistake.

Look at this verse:

1Sam. 8:1 ¶     When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel’s leaders.b
1Sam. 8:2 The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba.
1Sam. 8:3 But his sons did not follow his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.
1Sam. 8:4  ¶     So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah.
1Sam. 8:5 They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to leadc us, such as all the other nations have.”
1Sam. 8:6  ¶     But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the LORD.

Samuel followed Eli’s footstep. He was busy ministering that he forgot to disciple his kids who grew up dishonest. Another revelation hit me. God blamed the dads – not the moms. Nowhere in this 2 accounts did God mention that mommy was the reason. Daddy takes the blame.

What a great responsibility God has given us as men and fathers. I prayed that before I ask God to increase my influence or broaden my reach – make me first the leader of my household.

Daddy never underestimate the gift of Fatherhood. History lies in our hands and it starts at home.

Category: parenting  Tags: , ,  One Comment
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